A New Year - a new beginning or more of the same old thing ?

Here we are, two weeks into the New Year. Christmas has come and gone, all the festivities are over, normality has returned to most peoples world (including my little one).  To be honest, so far, it doesn't feel that different from last year at the moment ... a bit grey and depressing .... but it is a bit early to tell yet if I am going to sleepwalk through another year of my life. I will try hard not to, but Life ( or should I say my family ) has a habit of disrupting any plans I make !

Actually, 2011 wasn't that bad. Ok, it wasn't great, but nothing horrid happened to me or family. Thinking about it, it did have a few high points amongst the general greyness of it all ( and all too
frequent attacks of the Darkness ). No going to see the Maestro in concert ( but then, I had been VERY lucky in that respect in the previous 3 - 4 years ), but seeing DT in the West End ( in Much Ado about Nothing ) provided a much needed dose of excitement in my existence .... going to see the Doctor Who Experience ended up being a high too ( although both experiences unfortunately also had their down sides .... connected to bigbro and Mum ). The Fun Factory was as fun as ever ( as in not very ... ). I still didn't succeed in getting the waste to acceptable levels, I was still pretty much invisible to those around me ( or treated as a waste of space), but in the present climate, just having a job and keeping hold of it is something I am glad about. Yes, 2011 wasn't too bad a year .... but I did allow the Darkness to take control just a little too often. I allowed it to colour my view of life, to drain the rainbow of Life of its vibrancy , to close my mind to opportunities and make me doubt myself and my abilities ..... the end result - another year has passed with little to show for it, and little change to my life where change was needed. I allowed myself to sleepwalk through another year .... not good.

So, A New Year - Time to gain a new attitude .... to make a bigger effort to keep the Darkness at bay .... to believe in myself and be 'me' again. I cannot afford to allow another year just to pass me by .... I'm not getting any younger, and the years seem to be passing faster and faster now. I don't want to reach a point where all I have are regrets about things not done and not memories of things I have. 2012 is here .... a new year full of new opportunities, new experiences ..... if only I am brave enough to take/try them ! Time to break the cycle, get out of the rut I have got myself into and LIVE my LIFE !