Life is like a selection box

A quick update here is in order I think ....

Life at the fun factory did get a bit busier , and there was just a little more Xmas spirit, in the week leading to Christmas , especially on Christmas Eve. It was all hands on deck on the tills and filling the shelves. As for me .... it was busy, but not as busy as I have seen in previous years ... and that wasn't entirely a bad thing as I was working on my own all day ( no help for me ... quelle surprise !! ). This made me a little grumpy, and the actions of my manager didn't help either.

I mentioned Stephen before when he arrived a few months ago ... and said I would reserve judgement on him at the time. Now .... well, he is OK, but he does seem to bring out my bad tempered, sarcastic side a lot. I cannot tell if he is serious or joking over a matter most of the time, so I assume he is serious ( he is the manager - it is safer to do so ) ... only to be ridiculed by him and others for doing so.... he also has an annoying habit of referring to me as "the baker" ALL THE TIME. I put up with it to start with because he was new and I thought he might not have got used to everyone and their names ... but he is still doing it. Every morning it is " Hello baker " to me and " Hello whoever-he-is- speaking to" to everyone else ... if he asks something it is " what do you think then baker ?" .... he probably doesn't realise, but it is driving me nuts - I am an individual human being, I have a name , so he could at least have the decency to use it once in a while !! ... I am more than just my job title ! ... . As for Christmas Eve ... he had a fixation with mince pies. We had sold out of pre- packed short-crust pastry mince pies by mid morning ... the only ones left in store were the puff pastry ones I bake and pack. They sell well, but people prefer the short crust ones - they are more what people think of when you speak of mince pies. I had baked and packed a load of my type the day before, to try and ensure that I didn't need to do any on Xmas Eve itself ... had too much to do just baking the bread and rolls ... so there was quite a few packs to be bought on the shop-floor already - or so I thought . Stephen didn't agree with my way of thinking - he wanted even more. Every time he popped his head around the door, it was " Have you done the mince pies yet ? " ..... "You'll have to do at least a case of them ?" ... ( there are about 140 pies in a case, sold in packs of 4, so 35 boxes from each case ) .... " Have you put any mince pies out yet " .... "Have you checked if there are any mince pies out on display? " .... I was not a happy bunny by the end of the morning - did he think I had nothing to do than bake and pack mince pies ! .... what about the rest of the stuff on my section ?... and I've only got ONE pair of hands... . I didn't think we would sell all those mince pies but I did as I was told . Needless to say , out of the 80 or so packs that were on the shop-floor to be sold that day, about 50 ended up being thrown away .... but what do I know, I've only been doing this the last 5 Christmases .... ;-)

Anyway, it was a long day - I started @ 5 am ( it is kind of a tradition to come in a hour early that day ... try and get something on the shelves before the door open to customers ) and hardly stopped until a quick bite to eat @ 1pm, then a bit more baking and clearing up which took me to 4 pm. I was VERY glad to go home ... and at least I didn't have to cycle home - because of the early start, bigbrother had taken me to work by car ( no ferries or public transport running @ that time in the morning ), and so he picked me up again in the evening for the return journey. No work for four days .... the first time that had happened @ Christmas for about 15 years ... I could not wait.

Christmas itself was a quiet family affair - just bigbrother, Mum and me sitting around the TV ( mostly watching DVD's ... programmes on TV itself were not that great ) stuffing our faces with chocolate and cola in between roast meals, then going for a walk or a drive afterward .... simple but nice. I'm a bit too old now for big Christmas presents ... received mostly smellies, clothes, Cd's ,books and gift vouchers .... I was happy with that , although I was a little disapointed ... I couldn't have been as good this year as Father Christmas wanted me to be ... no sign of David Tennant , Johnny Depp or Ewan Mc Greggor in my stocking ... ( only joking !!! )

So Christmas has come and gone again .... we are back in that twilight-like zone again, that strange period between Christmas and New Year where those who are lucky enough ( or those in offices or who work for the MOD or Government ) can just keep partying until next Monday .... and those who are not ... *ahem* ... are back to work again ... such is life.

( just a final thing ... a belated Happy 2nd Birthday to my little Blog !!! ( started this 26th December 2006 ) ... lets see if I can keep it going for another year ... )

The Doctor needs a doctor ....

And now, something about my other, newer petit obsession ... * hee hee *

According to reports on the fan web site, David Tennant has not been a well little bunny ... he has injured his back, and it is not just a common backache - he has need surgery to help elevate and correct the problem ( the diagnosis was a prolapsed disk )... not good !. It looks likely he will be unable to return to work before the New Year . It could not have happened at a worse time either for him - he was just starting a run of performances over the Christmas / New Year period as Hamlet in London. He had managed to complete a few, but had to pull out just before one of the important ones - the press preview. The understudy for the role had to step in, and was a great success by all accounts ... which is great but it sort of steals David's thunder at bit, doesn't it ?

I really feel for David .... all that hard work @ Stratford the last few months, performing to great acclaim , putting his heart and soul into the role, and then this happens .... . Perhaps that is the part of the problem - he has worked TOO hard and over-exerted himself ... all that leaping and bounding about he does as The Doctor, and on stage as Hamlet and other roles .... all that couldn't have helped ... he seems to be a very physical performer ( not that I am complaining .... ;-) ) ... he does work very hard. Apparently, this is one of the few times he has ever had to pull out of a performance due to ill health in his career .... I just think it is just a little bit sad for him.

Anyway, he is on the mend after the surgery ... and will soon be back bounding around our screens and stages as usual ( sooner than you think on TV at least - the Doctor Who Christmas Special is being shown Xmas Day ... ! ) ... good news !. All I can say is - GET WELL SOON DAVID ! ( and enjoy the rest while you can .... good luck, have a great Christmas and hope to see you good as new in the New Year .... )

Time Flies

Is it really 367 days since I found myself standing and waiting for a coach at 5 am in Portsmouth to take me to London ? ....

... since I rushed across the capital by tube to St Pancras to catch the Eurostar to my favourite place in the world ( other than home that is ) - Paris ? ...

... since I came up out of the metro station onto the Champs Elysses to find a magical sight greet me ... the whole boulevard illuminated by Christmas fairy lights in the trees - a sight to take your breath away ....

... since I stood shivering, frozen to the bone, ( and just a little bit scared ) by the fountains at the Place de la Concorde, waiting for people I only knew through talking on the net - and who didn't arrive ?

.... since I waited outside a cute little theatre , surrounded by hundreds of like-minded others, willing the doors to open and just listening to the voices around me although I understood very little of what they were saying ....

.... since I experienced something special ... one of the memorable nights of my life ... watching a frog appear in an egg shaped chair, with eyes the colour of rich , dark melted chocolate , a voice that sounded like sweet music ( although he didn't speak much, and most of what he did say I didn't understand ... I do love the French language ... ) and a smile that lit up the room then perform his own particular type of aural magic upon me and everyone around me .... taking each of us on an adventure all of our own, but connected each other still, to another place and time, just by the power of sound waves ....

Is it really a year ( Ok, .. a year and ONE day ... :-) )since I travelled to Paris on a freezing December day to see the Maestro perform the whole of my favourite album - Oxygene - completely live @ Marigny Theatre ? ... yes it is! . It doesn't seem that long ago though - doesn't time fly when you are having fun ( or so they say ) . I know that piece of the adventure was only the first part of something that has continued through this year ( at the RAH ) and is continuing still .... hope it never stops - for me at least.

Further Tales of the Fun Factory

It is now just a little under two weeks until Christmas Day, but except for piles of mince pies and chocolate selection boxes, you would not really know in the fun factory. There is a distinct lack of Christmas spirit here this year ... no Christmas tree, the decorations we do have around the store are pitiful, no Christmas music on the shop-floor ( due tothe rules changing and the store not having a broadcast licence ) ... everyone seems to be if not in a bad mood, at least a bit down in the dumps. It is not helped by the fact that we should be getting busy , customer-wise by now - and we are not. The shop is very, VERY quiet. That is not to say that the staff are not busy - we are, but that is more down to having not enough people to do what we have to do .... let me explain.

The credit crunch has finally hit the company, so financially things are not great. It is not in as much trouble as Woolworths ( it is at least solvent ), but there is a big hole in the finances - takings are down, and they are over budget on wages by a lot (they think about £250,000 ). The result of this is that there is an overtime ban, and a block on recruitment until further notice. That is a problem for us - the store virtually runs on overtime at this time of year, and we have had 2 or 3 members of regular staff leave ( or be made to leave.... ;-)) in the last month or so . Everyone is running around like headless chicken, trying to deal with the customers we do have. We are very short staffed ... being quiet is a kind of a blessing and a curse at the same time. . It is a bit of vicious circle at the moment - not enough people around to fill the shelves properly because those we do have are on checkout serving customers , so they look empty ... so the customers we do have complain we never have anything they want, or they are queuing for too long at checkout because we haven't enough people to man them all, so they go elsewhere .... so takings are down ... so there is less money for wages ..... and so it goes on. It is no surprise that the spirit of Christmas Cheer is lacking a little .... with no staff and dwindling but complaining customers, the fun factory is even less fun that usual.

Things might pick up .... there is still the rush for fresh stuff on Christmas Eve to come yet ( not sure if that is good or not considering things ... ) - but somehow I doubt it. Thinking about it, perhaps the title of this post should have been something else ....

*hee hee *

Every human is free and equal ...

Today is 10th December - Human Rights Day, as set out by the United Nations. Today we celebrate the creation of one of the most important documents created in the 20th Century ( it is to me and many others ) ; a document whose values form the basis for many laws around the world even though it itself is not legally binding; a document which is relevant to every single person on this planet although many do not even know it exists ; a document which helps defines what it is to be Human - The Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Human Rights Day is celebrated every year on this date, but this year is particularly special. This year , like something else close to my heart (*ahem* ... or should that read someone ;-) - a clue to that : see my last post !) it celebrates the 60th anniversary of its creation. The general theme of the day this year is the promotion of the Declaration to a wider audience .... to get more people to know about it and sign up to its values . This is just my little bit to help .... ( you can read the text of the UN UDHR here to find out more - please do ! )

On December 10th 1948 , the UDCR was signed by the nations of the world (well, those in the newly created UN that is) in Paris. It was created in reaction to the horrors of World War Two, to the inhuman policies of the Nazis - to try and ensure that something such as that would never happen again. It defined things that ALL humans on this planet were entitled to , regardless of race, sex, religion, political allegiance or any other distinction : things that could not be given or taken away by anyone, which you were entitled to just by being Human ... a citizen of this planet.

Unfortunately, despite the high hopes of the early post war years, 60 years on people are still not being treated humanly , not everyone has their rights, the UDCR is being ignored by many countries ... and not just in Africa or South America ... western governments such as our own are too (The "War on Terror" is not helping matters ). There is still need for organisations such as Amnesty and others like it. ... Human Rights and their defence are as relevant now as ever. People need to know what they have a right to, and need help to try and get it. The values of the UDHR need to be promoted and respected more widely, for by respecting and living by its values we are essentially living and respecting each other, and that can only be a good thing , can't it ?

Wembley, here I come ....

.... the Arena, that is, not the stadium. Yes, I have gone and done it .... I've booked tickets to go and see the Maestro in concert AGAIN next May (definitely something to look forward to ! ) . They are costing me money I cannot really afford to spend ( they are £45 each ... closer to £50 with the booking fees and postage ) but I'm thinking of it as a Christmas and VERY early birthday present to myself ... * hee hee* . As I said before, I'm taking every opportunity that comes along to see Jean Michel live while I can - it is just that there have been more opportunities than usual in the last 12 months ! ... I'm really not that obsessed ( who am I trying to fool .... ;-) )

I have booked 3 tickets - Why 3 tickets ? .... well, one for me ( of course ! ), one for bigbrother (he has come with me most of the times I have seen Jean Michel before ... and he has a car , so that will be the transport sorted out hopefully ! ), and one for Mum. They both think I am obsessed with him anyway, so this will only confirm that fact further !

I have to say that Mum isn't that interested in the Maestro, but after "suffering" (her words, not mine !) the DVD of the concerts with me when I watch them at home , she at least knows who he is and what he does. I just want her to experience a concert live for herself (something she hasn't had the chance to do for years) - it could have been a concert by anyone, it just happens to be one by the Maestro ( I am not trying to convert her by the way ... I wouldn't have the nerve to try ... but who knows what might happen). Bigbrother and I go waltzing off to concerts and she is normally sat at home alone .... I thought for a change she should come with us , so she is. I think it might be a little bit of a shock to her though ... what I haven't mentioned is that the seats are quite near the front, and it looks like a lot of the "die-hard" fans from the forums are going to be around that area too ... should be interesting ( and noisy ! ) .. I didn't think that through very well did I ?, but never mind ....

Anyway, I am quite a happy bunny at the moment thanks to this ... it gives me something to look forward to for next year ( and I need that , the way work is going at the moment , next year might not be that great ..... ;-( ) ... roll on 22nd May 2009 - Wembley, here I come !!!

Utter Stupidity

Sometimes, you can see something happen right in front of your face and yet still not quite believe it is happening .... not believe what your eyes are telling you. This might be because it is something surprising, amazing, unbelievable or shocking, disturbing, troubling .... or just plain stupid.

Travelling home from work a few days ago, I came across just such a sight. I was pushing my bike along the pavement , in a complete world of my own as usual. Then I noticed that there was a queue of traffic on the road beside me - a number of buses were at a standstill, but I could not see what was stopping them ... the traffic was flowing further down the road. Waking a little further down , I came across the reason why - someone was lying in the road. At first I thought they might have been hit by a car or even one of the buses ... then the body suddenly got up, ran along the road laughing and flicking V-signs, then laid down in the road again !! I could hardly believe what I was seeing ....

On the pavement in front of me were a group of about eight or nine boys - they could not have been older than 10 or 12 ... maybe younger. They were being loud, shouting at each other and pushing each other around ( don't kids just talk at a normal volume anymore ? ) .... being boys, larking around - nothing unusual there. ( I don't know why, but groups of kids make me feel uneasy ... you never seem to see a group of just a few ... there always seems to a a whole tribe of them ... never quite sure what they might do or act ) . One of the group had decided to break off, and accompanied by shouts of encouragement, and hoots of laughter from the rest of the group, was laying down and rolling around in the middle of the road - and in the direct path of one of the buses - then getting up , moving along and doing it again!!. I shouted at them, asking them what the hell they thought they were doing, and did they have a death wish .... all I got was a mouth full of expletives and one finger salutes in return before the "body" got up and they all ran off into the night.

I still cannot quite believe that they could be so stupid .... that almost getting themselves run over was some sort of fun ! It was only luck ( and the good judgement of the bus driver ) that ensured that that child wasn't . I know kids can get bored ... but that bored ? ... enough that getting run over is better?. Would he prefer his parent(s) to be paying for a funeral rather than buying him Christmas presents perhaps ? ... I don't think so !

Write just one more Christmas card this year

Well, it is that time of year again. The shops are getting busy ( or they would be if anyone had any money to spend ) , people are starting to buy enough food and drink to feed a not so small army , every book, CD, game or DVD you have wanted in the last 6 months is released - all within a couple of weeks of each other, ... all you hear on the radio is continuous Slade, Wizzard and Cliff Richard ... yes, Christmas is approaching, and approaching FAST !

Sometimes the "true" spirit of Christmas - that of peace and goodwill to all, of thinking of others as well as yourself, of sharing time as well as money with your nearest and dearest ( in other words, your family ) - it can be lost amongst all the rush to buy and wrap presents and endless partying and drinking. There is something you can do though that will help to restore the balance, and regain some of the lost spirit - and all it involves is writing a few more Christmas cards .... .

Amnesty International runs a campaign each year at this time called the Greeting Card Campaign. It simply consists of a list of cases from around the world, of individuals and groups, that Amnesty are highlighting. They might be for someone who is missing, or has been arrested and imprisoned without trial, or has been tortured or harassed or persecuted ... the same reasons why these kind of cases are highlighted all year around. The difference with this campaign compared to the usual ones is that you are not asked to write letters of appeal to the authorities on behalf of these people ( although you can if you wish to ) .... you are asked to write and send Greetings Cards to the people themselves, or to their families or communities. The cards are to have simple messages inside - just to show that others are thinking of them, that they are not alone at this special time of year. I have taken part in the campaign for the past few years, and it does make a difference in peoples lives .... you do, sometimes, get feedback from the people you have sent the cards to - mostly through the Amnesty web-site, but other times it is directly to you personally ( I have received cards of thanks from Indonesia and Sudan by post in the past ).

So you can recapture just a little of the old sharing, caring spirit of Christmas if you want to. All you have to do is be willing to write and send just one more Christmas card when you complete those for your friends and family this year. It may just be another card for you .... but it just could be a link to the outside world , a sign that they are not forgotten, for someone else. As they say , we are all one family in the end .... we are all Human.

( details of the campaign and cases featured this year can be found here :
www.amnesty.org.uk/gcc )

Apocalypse Now

Back to more mundane things ... . Life continues at the "fun factory" , but not quite as normal. The cast of players which make up the staff there are as they normally are - still alternating between being best friends and stabbing each other in the back. One positive thing - ' Her Majesty ' has started to talk to me again ... well, I now get a fairly civil answer to my questions and when I say Good Morning to her rather than just a dirty look or silence. I am not sure why now and not before, but I am not complaining ... I will be grateful for small mercies. Customers are as happy as ever ( i.e.: not very ) over the usual subjects - not having what they want in stock, not being served quick enough, us not being Tesco or Asda ... it goes on. But for once, we have a valid reason for the shortages ..... and it all stems from an event last week.

Last Wednesday, I arrived at work to find the lights on, but the doors locked. That is not that unusual .... but it normally means there is a problem with the tills, or with the computer back-up system that controls them ( cannot open if the till do not work )... a case of gremlins in the works. Michelle's little helper came along and opened the door to let me in after a while, and I asked what the problem was. It transpired the problem was bigger than just gremlins, and didn't just affect the tills.

He had been called into the store @ 3am by the alarm company ( they monitor the store alarms - security and those connected to the fridges/freezers to indicate breakdowns ) for a freezer alarm. He arrived to find not just one freezer had alarmed out, but all of them ... closely followed by the fridges, one by one. When it came to open up, we had no tills or computer ... we had nothing except the lights. We had a major problem . Despite the lights, the store ( and it transpired, most of the surrounding area ) had suffered a power failure - a power cable had burnt out. It was now about 6.30am - the electricity company said they were fixing the problem and we should have power by about 9-10am. That was too late. We had a back up generator, hence the lighting, but it did not generate enough power to provide that and keep the refrigeration systems running too. If the power isn't restored within a few hours, then the temperatures in the fridges and freezers mean the stock in them would be unfit for sale ... we would lose the lot ... and unfortunately we did. It had to be removed from the cabinets, recorded, then thrown away and disposed of. We couldn't even move the stock to the back-up areas to try and save it because, with no power, they were not working either ( my ovens, of course, were out of action too, so no baking ). To cut a long story short, the power was restored eventually that day, but not by 10am - we got it back about 6pm. As a result of the problems, we were unable to trade for the bulk of that day, unable to place orders to start replenishing the lost stock ... and had to throw away £12, 000 worth of ruined dairy, chilled and frozen food ( the store should reclaim some of the money back through making an insurance claim ). It was like a war zone, the cabinets completely empty, ... not one of the better days I have had at work. It was all hands on deck to help with the clean up and disposal of all that food ... well, we couldn't do anything else ! .

We opened as normal the next day - well , except for another short power cut which left us with our hearts in our mouths and our heads thinking " not AGAIN ! " ... at least we didn't have anything to lose this time. We were open, but didn't have much to sell except cans ( and my bread - the ovens were working now ). We had no milk until that day's delivery arrived - and that didn't please the customers one little bit. My little section of the store is right next to the Milk fridge, so all I had all morning was moaning. ....

The store is not back to normal even now, almost a week later. Because of the way we create the orders, we are always ordering not for the next day, but a day or even two later than that. We could not accept the deliveries last Wednesday because we had nowhere to put them .... the orders for delivery Thursday and Friday had already been sent and could not be amended ... and they would not be enough to fill the cabinets as they were . The first order which took into account the breakdown was delivered Saturday... but that would sell as fast as it came in , as we would have had little stock left before it arrived - so it was a fun end to the week ... NOT!. We are slowing building the stock levels back up ... but it is taking a while. It is a
complete and utter nightmare - work is even less of a good place to be than usual.... and the customers are not helping ... but that is the way it is - just have to get on with it .

The maestro returns ...

... but not quite yet.

Something to make me smile, something to put a huge grin on my face ... something to look forward to for next year. What is it ? ... the main object of my petit obsession of course ! He is returning to the UK on tour AGAIN !.

It has been announced that The Maestro is to play a number of indoor arena-based gigs here in the UK next May - at the moment it is Glasgow, London (Wembley Arena), Manchester and Birmingham . That is in addition to the possible outdoor concert in the Canaries he was planning for some point next year .... does he never stop working ? * hee hee *. Looks like they will be similar to the concerts he is performing in the Baltic states at present , which are similar to what I saw in London and Paris ... but that doesn't bother me. With the " old ladies " he uses ( the old synths he plays at the moment ) , no two concerts are ever completely the same, and it is rumoured it will be a bit of a " Greatest Hits " tour this time ( and not just centred on Oxygene ).

I have said (many times )before that I will take every chance I can to see Jean Michel live in concert. If these go ahead ( there is always a slight risk they will not ... although less of a risk for these than with the possible Canaries concert ) I will try my utmost to get to one of them ( probably Wembley Arena on 22/05 ). That will mean I will have seen him live 6 times in total, and 3 times in the last 2 - 2 1/2 years !. OK, not so prolific as some on the forums , and they have all been as part of the tours and not the HUGE one-off concerts - I would love to experience one of those for myself, just once - but I cannot complain ... that is better than nothing, than not seeing any. As of yet, only tickets for Glasgow are available, so I cannot say I am definitely going ... but I will make every effort to get tickets for at least Wembley when they do. I expect bigbrother will come with me (he normally does) ...and perhaps I can take Mum too this time - will be an experience for her ! .... it all depends on IF I can get tickets, and how much they are. But enough speculating and daydreaming from me .... just waiting for the tickets to be released now, then roll on next May !!

ps: thank you Kanta @ Blah Blah Cafe (fan forum) for finding the photos !!

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark....

.... or correctly, at work. There is a strange atmosphere there this week ... something is going on. I am not entirely sure what it is , but I have a good idea though ..... more about that in a moment.

As you can tell, I am back at " the fun factory " this week. My break away from it last week passed all too quickly. Not that I actually managed to do anything spectacular in that time, but it was just nice not having to get up at 4am !!!. So now I am back .... and still getting the silent treatment from " Her Majesty ", despite my efforts to talk to her ( no change there then .. not that I thought it would be ). There has been some change though - Billy has now gone, and the new manager has FINALLY arrived. His name is Stephen, and he seems OK - not that I have had much to do with him so far . Apparently, he used to work for Tesco ( another UK retailer ), and now he has moved to us to progress his career - that seems the wrong way around to me somehow (Most people working here would rather work for Tesco, I think ! ). Anyway, he hasn't said that much to me ... the subject of the waste has not been brought up as of yet ... I will wait and see a little while before I pass judgement on him ( see how long he last ... LOL ).

Back to the strange atmosphere - not caused by the arrival of the new manager, I should say. Something is definitely going on .. nothing to do with me though, I have to say. There has been a lot of whispering in corners going on, and visits from people in Head Office (particularly from those connected to HR and Loss Prevention ... ). The office has been out of bounds to most of us for long periods of time so "interviews" could be held with certain individuals ( which were not job interviews ), and meetings held with management .... very strange. By listening to what others in the store have said , it seems to be connected to something that happened last week - and as I have mentioned, I wasn't at work last week .... . One of the other team leaders, in fact one of the two who I said before was acting like they "knew everything" , hasn't been at work all week. I had not thought much about it, as she is prone to back problems so I assumed she was off sick again. Then Wendy mentioned that she had been called into the office last Friday for one of these "interviews" with a person from HR .... and left in tears. She hadn't been in work since. I assumed she might have been told off because of her sickness record - that seemed a bit unfair to me. Then someone else mentioned that Loss Prevention were around because money had appeared to have gone missing from the store,they thought from the safe. It appeared to have happened the previous weekend . , . Processing the information in my head , and putting two and two together ( and making five probably ) this was serious - the missing team leader was working then , and she normally does the cashing up. It doesn't sound good .... . I really hope that isn't the reason why she is not in .... I really hope she has not been that stupid, but who knows - people can get tempted. If that is the reason for her absence ... I don't think we will be seeing her again. Just have to wait and see though .... the interviews are still on going, and I have to remember my values - that everyone is innocent until proven guilty. It might be something else entirely - a mistake in the paper work perhaps ?

All this rumour and suspicion is not helping the atmosphere ... feels like there is something rotten at the heart of the store .... hence the mis-quote from Shakespeare as a post title .... hope things are sorted out soon either way.

Random Thoughts

Not a lot to write about at the moment - work is still work ( at least, I think it is ... I'm on a weeks break from it .. ) - it was just as frustrating as ever last week. As usual, my problems stem from my treatment in that soap opera of a place - or more correctly, from some of the actors playing there.

I am generally ignored anyway, but I am getting the silent treatment from one person in particular , who I shall call ' Her Majesty ' ( her name and manner has a regal air to it, hence the nick-name ... but I will not name her directly to protect the guilty ! ). All I get from her is a glance that tells me all I need to know - that I am deemed not worthy of speaking to, of wasting her breath and immense intelligence on. I have to admit, this is not the first time this has happened ... not the first time ' Her Majesty ' has been like that to me ... but I have the distinct feeling it might be like this for a long, long time . I don't like there being bad feelings between us, but if that is the way it is .... so be it.

Away from work, and back onto a slightly happier topic - ' The Doctor ' (* hee hee *). The news that David Tennant is leaving Doctor Who ( or at least, is not going to be playing the role when the full series returns in 2010 ) was not that much of a surprise really. Ever since it was announced that he was taking time off away from it to play @ Stratford with the RSC this year, there was a feeling that he would not be back. It is a bit sad - he was so good at it ... after all, he got me to sit down and watch it week after week ... :-) ... but things, and people move on. As he said in the many interviews this week, after the news broke, much as he loved playing The Doctor, it was leave now or never leave. And he is so much more than just that role. I just hope he continues to get the chances and exposure he deserves now he is leaving such a high profile job ... the media here is very television centred ( and US centred at that .... ), and no matter how talented you are, if you are not on TV much, you run the risk of being forgotten ( not that I think that will happen in his case ... ! ). His decision is going to make it harder for me to get my ' fix ' of him though ( ... and just as I was really getting into him too ... ) - it is a good job I found the fan website to keep me informed then ! .... and he is not leaving quite yet - there are the Christmas specials ( for 08 and 09 ) and three other specials next year to see before that happens. As for Doctor Who itself - it will survive his departure, it always has done in the past when the Doctor changes ( I will be VERY interested to see how they do the regeneration this time around .... ). It will not be quite the same though, for me at least. Will I continue to watch ? ... probably - depends on if I continue to like the stories .... and the New Doctor, whoever he or she is ....

The fastest thing on the road

The journey home from work the last few days has been even more interesting than usual. Not for any spectacular reason - no wonderous sunsets, I haven't been knocked off my bike or cut up by a car ... although the reason is transport connected. Simply, I think I have been the fastest thing on the road .. OK , maybe not the fastest, but at least I have been moving. The traffic has been horrendous, almost at gridlock levels along one particular part in Portsmouth.

I shouldn't be that surprised - Portsmouth is a busy city, so its roads get a bit cluttered at times. Most cities are like that now. But to see the traffic stationary for almost the whole length of a major road in and out the city for three days in a row ... and not because of an accident, or a broken down car, or any other kind of incident but for sheer weight of traffic .... it is quite a sight to see ... the car doesn't look such a convenient mode of transportation then. All these single tin boxes with just one person in, fuming at the single tin box in front of them, all of them just sitting there, going nowhere. It is not only car drivers that are affected though ... I think I counted about six buses, most full of people, stuck too. That causes other problems - people waiting for buses in other areas of the city that will not come anytime soon because they are here. ... it goes on and on ... such is modern life. I just look on .... and pedal on by . I might not be going very fast, it might take me a while to get where I am going ... but I am still moving, and I will get there in the end. Makes me glad to be a cyclist for a change ......

A sky full of (faux) diamonds

It is that time again. Time to resume my reign as Queen of Darkness.... well, almost. The clocks changed back from British Summer Time to GMT last weekend, so we are now really into Autumn. A time of "mellow fruitfulness " it is said ... or in my case, of ever encroaching darkness on my journey to and from work.

It has been dark on my morning travels since about the end of August, but with the change back to GMT it will soon be dark in the evening too. I don't like the dark evenings that much ... they are connected in my mind with mainly cold and wet conditions .... and too many opportunities for car drivers NOT to see me on my cycle !! It is not all bad though, for a whole new world opens up to me now.

The failing light creates new pictures around me ... a world bathed in the gentle golden glow of an autumn sunset (or sunrise., if I am VERY late in the morning ! ). As light fades almost completely, a world of washed out colours on buildings and trees emerges, making the view around me turn into a series of moving silhouettes. When night finally descends , my world strangely turns back into a place of light again ( although only in patches ) ... into a place of twinkling lights and electronic rainbows. Looking out from the ferry I use each day to cross Portsmouth Harbour, I am , on a clear cool day, surrounded by a cloak of deep dark blue sky and sea, studded by thousands of stars. Looking up to the sky, they are real ... tiny points of clear crystal shining down. Looking across to the harbour entrance, or in the opposite direction towards Portsdown Hill, I still see thousands of stars, of points of light but they become, in the majority, not pieces of crystal but amber .... the glow of street lamps and neon signs in the distance ... thousands of faux diamonds shining in the darkness.

So the approaching autumn and winter is not all bad , for I have a world of diamonds and rainbows to look at ... even if they are not real. They light and bring colour to my journey to work, bringing me beauty and comfort until the true colours of Spring reappear.

Negative power of words ....

This is connected, in a way, to a previous post about words. That one was upbeat and light - about the joy of words and reading ... this was originally written when my state of mind was anything but happy ( I don't feel as bad as that now .. this was me at my most down and almost depressed I think ). I am not entirely sure about posting it here (perhaps it is a little too personal ?) but I think I should ... it shows how words can have a negative as well as positive effect on people. Perhaps I was being a bit too sensitive to others opinions, to what others said to me at the time ... but this is what I felt ... and still do to some extent.... . Despite what I have written here, I know words are not only negative, the cause of the problem ... they can be the solution too ...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

There is an old expression that goes like this : ' Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me ' ... you will never know how wrong that expression is to me. Words can do so much damage, can hurt you in ways sticks and stones never will.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but bones and bruises heal fairly quickly. They are just physical injuries. The injuries caused by words - be they said to be directly hurtful or just those carelessly spoken - these are not visible to the naked eye. They have the ability to wound not your flesh but your self-worth, your sense of self, your confidence, your core of being. These wounds can run very deep indeed and take a lifetime to heal, if they heal at all.

Words can, to use another expression, ' cut like a knife ', can wound you deeply. Ridicule of a person for just being themselves, for being different, for not fitting in with the perceived norm - this slowly but surely chips away at a person, little by little inflicting tiny cuts until they become open wounds, continuously opening the same wounds again and again, never allowing them to heal. Every time they open, even more pain is inflicted and endured.

So that person starts to build defences, puts up barriers in their mind to try and protect themselves, to stop the wounds from being continuously re-opened. They withdraw, hide away, keep away from others just in case they might to hurt again. In trying to escape the pain and torture they feel, they become isolated - and an even easier target for those who wish to hurt. They are then accused of being anti-social, of not being a " team player ", of being aloof, a snob .... so the words continue, and they continue to hurt, to cut, to wound - it is like never ending circles, going around and around, down and down, driving the person deeper into depression and despair. What ever they do, it never feels like it will end, will stop.

So yes, you can be hurt by physical means , by the sticks and stones of the expression , but words can do damage too, more than you can possibly imagine. Abuse and torture doesn't only come in physical form .... some people should remember that.

A new beginning ...

I have rather neglected this blog for a while ( for most of this year really ),so I thought it was about time for a bit of a restart .... a quick update on the main subject matter ; that is, me and my world .... just as I did at the very beginning ... so here goes ...

At home, there isn't much change at all. I am still living with Mum and bigbrother , still plodding along as best we can. Mum is still Mum - worrying about everything and everyone ( especially bigbrother and me ) , and bigbrother is still bigbrother - as protective and possessive as ever,wanting to know my every move. What can I say ? ... I still love them both to pieces, despite the odd disagreements between us ... but what do you expect with 3 very different adults in the same house. As for me, I am still as unattached as ever - and still not bothered about it ! Let's just say I am not holding my breath for a knight on a white charger to come my way and sweep me off my feet anytime soon..... I am content as I am.

I don't need to mention that my petit obsession with a certain Frenchman ( and his work, of course ... ) continues unabated * hee hee * .... I don't think that will ever completely go away . I've been a fan/ follower/ admirer ... describe it as you like ... of Jean Michel too long to stop now ( about 20 years !! ... more than half my life !! ). I wait to see where he and the music takes me next .... . As for my other fledgeling obsession, connected to a 903 year old Timelord ( or Casanova, or Hamlet, or whatever role David Tennant is playing at the moment ! ) - that is developing quite nicely, thank you very much !!!

In the other main part of my world - work - the cast of players change from time to time ... people come and people go, but not much is really different. Michelle, John ( who has become Michelle's little helper again, now that Stuart is no longer here ), Kath, Sarah, Mandy, Lesley, Zoe G .... they are still there ... and so , unfortunately, am I ( not that I want to be most of the time lately .... more on that later ). Since Stuart left in March, there hasn't been a manager at the store, at least not one who is here for more than a few weeks. There has been Jason (brought in to help Michelle as Deputy to her Acting manager), then Lee ( who was brought in as Manager so Michelle became Deputy again .. and who left when he was given a "project" by Head Office ), and now Billy ( who is helping Michelle - now acting manager again ! ). But Billy is only here until our permanent manager arrives ...whenever that is. I am not holding my breath on that happening anytime soon. My status in-store hasn't improved greatly, in fact I think it has become worse - virtually invisible most of the time now, I am now just a human attachment to the ovens ... a means of getting the products from the prep area to the shopfloor. Other than that, I might as well not be there ... or at least that is what it feel like. I am treated as if I know nothing, or not spoken to at all ... it is making me more than a little fed up ... but I will get over it - I usually do. Need to focus on positives, not negatives all the time. Just wish I could find another job though ... but that is easier said than done, so I stay ( for the moment ) ... better the devil you know, as they say.

So that is that - an update on the pantomime that is my world at present. The next act starts soon .....

State of mind ..

I cannot seem to shake off this negative state of mind lately ... work is a constant struggle, nobody cares if I am there or not ... I seem to be losing my on-going battle with time ... my aches and pains of earlier in the year have returned, I'm tired all the time ... I feel like I am falling apart at the seams, both physically and mentally. Even taking solace in my books and cd's only lifts the feelings for a short while .... . The dark clouds have descended again ... hope they clear soon and quickly, for things cannot go on like this indefinitely . I am down ... but not out. I am fighting these thoughts and feelings ... I might not be winning at the moment, but I know I will eventually - there is still light at the end of the tunnel ... I haven't completely given up hope, I will not give up hope ....

This just sums up how I feel at my worse ...... it is taken from one of the Bard's most powerful works - Hamlet .... after over 400 years, Shakespeare's words are still a mirror on the Human condition ...

.... I have of late—but wherefore I know not—lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed,it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame,the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire,why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.

What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! inapprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! And yet to me what is this quintessence
of dust? Man delights not me—no, nor woman neither .....

Maybe I'm not so stupid ...

Simple things keep me happy. Listening to music ( normally by you- know-who ... ) , sitting on a deserted beach watching the waves rolling in ... seeing a winter morning start with a flaming sunrise ... losing myself in a book. As I have mentioned before, I enjoy reading. It is an escape route from my sometimes dull life, part of a continuous learning process ... a way of travelling without moving.

Another pleasure is wasting an hour or so wandering around a library or bookshop .... all those books, all those possible alternative lives, places, realities, just waiting to be discovered. It was while doing that one day in Waterstones ( a UK book retailer ) that I noticed something interesting ( well, to me ). They were promoting a competition. They wanted customers to send in their stories, tales, recollections. The best 3 would be published in a small book, with similar short tales from established authors. There was a catch though - the story/ tale had to fit on one side of a large postcard, so it had to be a short story ( or written in VERY small letters ... ). Something in my head just went *ping* , like a light bulb switching on ... so I thought I would have a go, and enter. I didn't think I would win in a million years, but if I didn't enter, I wouldn't know if I could would I ?

That was all a few weeks ago. I hadn't heard or thought anything more about the competition until last weekend. I was out shopping with Mum when we walked past our local branch of Waterstones. In the store window, there was a feature about the competition ... a selection of the postcard stories that had been sent in. There must have been about 40 or more postcards there ... and near the centre was one I recognised - MINE! . I haven't won ( at least, I don't think I have - Waterstones said they would only contact you if you had won, and so far nothing ... ), but just finding my effort in the store window with all those others ( some which are very good indeed ) brought a huge smile to my face. Maybe I'm not so stupid .... not that actually I believe I am, but after being treated as a brainless fool for most of the week @ work, I can start to doubt that fact by the weekend ... this was a pleasant surprise, a small conformation that when I try and use it, my brain isn't completely dead ..... yet.

What follows is my entry. It is no great novel ( I'm not even sure it is a story ... ) , but I'm happy enough with it. Read it and see what you think of it ..... .

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE KEY:

A.
It is just a letter, the first in our alphabet. There are many other letters, from B to Z. They are all different but they are all same; they are just letters. But I know a secret about them : a special, magical, amazing secret. I know they are part of a key that opens the door onto an endless, wondrous world.

One letter alone normally doesn't unlock the secret door. You need to combine them to release their power. Individual letters become words, then words become sentences, and sentences become paragraphs, and paragraphs ... well, paragraphs can become whatever you want them to be - a chapter of a novel, the essence of a love letter, the core of a treaty ... anything.

Letters and words are a magical force. They can show us our past, our present, our future. In their many combinations they can transport you to a fairy wonderland, or a war zone ; to another country, another culture, another world ... another universe. There is no limit to their power other than the limits of imagination itself.

So, I know a secret. A magical, wondrous secret. I can travel through space and time at will. I can go anywhere in this world or any other of my choosing. All it takes is for me to open a book and start to read. To read the letters and words, sentences and paragraphs .... and now you know the secret too !!!

Je suis une geek ....

... or so I am according to the Telegraph newspaper. How and why ? .... well, it is connected, unsurprisingly, to my petite obsession with the Maestro ... this time seeing him in concert in London, when he performed at the Royal Albert Hall in late March ...

“... Emerging from a retro egg-chair Jarre (who will be 60 this year) was in a similarly nostalgic mood. This, he told the full house of worshipful geeks, was music from a time when our vision of the future was "more innocent, poetic"...... ”
(taken from the review of Jean Michel Jarre concert @ Royal Albert Hall, London - 30th March '08 - published in the Telegraph newspaper )

Yes, I was one of those "worshipful geeks" who filled the RAH at the end of March . I know that is over 3 months ago now .... but it has taken a while to get my thoughts together into any sort of order to write here about it ( and I'm not even sure they are now ) ... the day kind of passed in a blur of anticipation, excitement and pleasure ... I expect I have forgotten lots of things, but here goes !! .

This was the second time in 3 months I had seen the Maestro in concert - the other time was in Paris last December (... I never did get around to writing about that though, did I ? ). Both shows were basically the same : connected to the live performance of the same piece of music - Oxygene. The small number of shows performed in Paris to celebrated the 30th anniversary of the album's original release had expanded to become , at the moment at least, an European Tour. As I mentioned in a previous post, I was going to take every chance I could to see Jean Michel live again, and although I had already seen the show in Paris, the RAH was just such a special location ... one I , and others I expect, had dreamed of seeing the Maestro perform at. It was also the first time in about 11 years that he was playing in the UK ( well, other than the 3 shows - in Glasgow, Manchester and Birmingham - he had done earlier in the month ... :-) ). So, with a couple of thousand other "geeks" - including bigbrother, who didn't come with me to Paris - I made my way to London and the Albert Hall one sunny Sunday afternoon.

My memories of the day ....
Seeing the RAH itself. I had seen it on the TV many times, but hadn't actually been there before myself. It was very grand, if a bit smaller than I thought it would be. It exuded a sense of slightly faded glories on the inside ... not that anything was worn or shabby , but it is an old building ... with its plush seats and red velvet , brocade and golden gilding ... it must have been VERY impressive when new .... a symbol of a lost empire made solid ....

Finding myself surrounded by sooo many Jarre fans, and of varying ages if not sex ( most of them seem to be male, although not exclusively so.) I know I am not the only person in the UK to like the Maestro ( the forums are proof of that fact ), but the normal reaction to his name here is "WHO ?" ... it was nice to be around people who knew what I was talking about for a change ... although some of them didn't seem to be as up-to-date with their knowledge as they could have been ( made me realise just how obsessed I actually am .... ) ...

Standing outside the auditorium, waiting for the doors to open to get to our seats ( in the gods, unfortunately ... ) and hearing snatches of familiar music ... wetting my appetite for more ... it was just magical, hearing the strains of Oxygene 13 drifting through the air , bringing a huge smile to my face ( I'm smiling now, just thinking about it ..... ). Then, sitting and feeling the atmosphere and excitement build as the venue filled ... the familiar sound of Waiting for Cousteau softly playing as we waited ... not long now ...

The concert itself .... many things come to mind .... a spotlight focusing on a large white plastic egg-like structure sitting to one side of the stage, which slowly turned to reveal its secret - the Maestro seated there in its red silk interior, greeting us with a wide smile and "Good Evening London " ..... Jean Michel talking to us about the reasons behind the tour , about the music and how it was created ... introducing us to the familiar faces ( well, they were to us, the fans ) who were performing with him and to his " Old ladies " ( the selection of vintage Synthesisers he and the rest of the group were playing ... ) .... someone shouting " I love you Jean Michel " from the darkness, and Jean Michel replying with " I love me too " ... :-) .... him dedicating the final track to us and to " all those we love " ... a heavy looking metal chain disconnecting and swinging down from the ceiling with a clatter, just missing Jean Michel and all that precious equipment , and his reaction (" No, we are not ready to start yet ... " ) ... the instruments being warmed up and tuned, like some retro-futuristic ( to use one of the Maestro's favourite phrases ... ) orchestra before a brief silence and then ..... a few simple notes, and the journey began ....

Ahh, the music ..... * BIG GRIN* ... the reason we were all there. I have to say, Oxygene is one of my favourite albums EVER , so hearing it being played live in its entirety on the instruments that created it, and especially in a location such as the RAH was almost too beautiful for description. The sound quality was amazingly good ( if a bit loud at times ... ). Despite the fact I already basically knew what to expect ( after seeing the concert in Paris ) once the music started, it didn't take long for its spell to be cast upon me again, and I was transfixed. For the majority of the concert , the world around me just melted away, and there was nothing but the stage, the music and Jean Michel. There were no speeches between the tracks - Jean Michel only spoke to us, the audience, at the start and the end. Other than that he was totally engrossed in his music , pressing buttons , turning knobs ... someone once described him as looking like a mad Scientist when he was performing, and that was just as he seemed. We were there, but we were not .... his concentration on the sounds he was making was total ... it was wonderful to watch the Maestro in full flow again. The fact that he was as handsome as ever ( if just a little older ) helped as well .... looking very smart in black suit/white shirt/ shaggy hair combo ... the years seemed to fade away from his face as he played and * THAT* gaze I love so much reappeared .... the 'old' Jarre most of us knew and loved was back ....

The visuals connected to the music were simple but effective - the synths bathed in coloured lights, further coloured lights and images projected on screens behind/above the musicians and the piecé de resistance, a large mirror which tilted at an angle, so you could watch what all the musicians on stage were doing ... unfortunately, that effect was lost a little on me because of where I was sitting - I couldn't see all the mirror. There were a few other things that just broke the spell momentarily ..... for some reason which I cannot fully explain, Oxygene part One just didn't have its usual mystical quality ; it was as beautiful as ever but something just didn't connect with me that night , something was missing ....... the synth solo in part five was a bit too free-form for me ( sorry Jean Michel ! ) .... and during Oxygene 12, Jean Michel seemed to be playing just a fraction out of time with everyone else ... but these things didn't detract so much from my enjoyment of the evening - how could I feel disappointed when everything else was so good ?

So I was a very happy geek that left the RAH that night ... it was another special , magical experience to lock in the vault of my life's memories. I am just as obsessed as ever with the Maestro - I hope that feeling never changes .....

( looking @ the length of this post , it seems I remember more than I thought I had .... just to note - the images with this post are not my own ( they are taken from various sources) , and relate to various concerts within this tour, not just @ the RAH ... )

Friends

There are times in your life when you can feel no-one understands you, when you can feel totally alone despite being surrounded by people .... it is not a nice feeling.

This little 'message' was sent to me in an e-mail by an old work colleague, one I had got on really well with but with who I had slightly lost touch with due to various circumstances (moving to another store being one of them ) during one such period in my life. It may be a bit cheesy and twee in sentiment ( sounds like something you get in a greetings card ... ) , but it meant a lot to me when I first read it , made me feel much better ... feel not quite so alone. I thought I would share it here .... maybe someone else might find it some comfort or help .....

FRIENDS :

You might be best friends one year,
Pretty good friends the next year,
Don't talk that often the next year,
And don't want to talk at all the year after that.

So I just wanted to say,
You have made a difference in my life ...

Send this message to all your friends
No matter how often you talk
Or how close you are

Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them,
And tell new friends you never will.

Remember, everyone needs a friend
Someday you might feel like you have NO friends at all
Just remember this message and take comfort in knowing
Someone out there cares about you and always will

-------------------------------------------------

To the world , you might be just one person
But to one person , you might just be the world.

Something Old, Something New ...

You might have noticed a couple of new web links appear in my list of them ( in the side panel of this blog ) in the month or so since the last post ... and then again, you might not have. I will talk about them anyway ... it is something to get me writing (again!!), and who knows - someone else out there in cyberspace might just be interested in them .....

One is connected to my old, present , long-term ... describe it as you will .... obsession with the Maestro - the other is connected to something (or should that be SOMEONE) that just might become a new one ... *hee hee hee... *

First things first .... the first web link (aerojarre.blogspot.com) directs you to a blog Jean Michel has been writing while he has been on his recent European tour ( Oxygene Tour ). Here, he writes his perspective of the concerts, the venues, the fans, the music, his performance ... how the tour went, things that went wrong,things that turned out better than expected, stuff he and the crew did during the travelling between countries and cities ... his personal view of the tour. But it wasn't just Jean Michel writing there - the fans could contribute too, in the form of messages / comments. To me, as a fan, it is fascinating to read .... to hear about the concerts and life on tour from the other side of the stage,from those involved,and from those watching, as well as Jean Michel's thoughts about various topics ... but the quality of the writing makes it something non fanatics would enjoy too I think. Jean Michel comes across as quite self critical of himself, very driven with a distinct idea of what he wants and how he wants it done work -wise, articulate (bearing in mind that the posts are written in English, not his native French), thoughtful and someone with a wickedly dry sense of humour.
The tour is over now, but Jean Michel has indicated that he will continue with the blog ... to continue to update those reading it with what he is doing, his plans and ideas .... and I really hope he does.



The second link (www.david-tennant.com) is for a fan site dedicated to a Time Lord ... or rather, the person playing him . For those who don't know ( which are not many, at least in the Uk ... ), David Tennant is the actor who is playing the 10th Doctor in the Sci Fi series Doctor Who . This makes him one of the most popular persons on UK TV at the moment, as the series is huge here. But the site isn't just about David as The Doctor ... it also features other work he has done ... and there is a fair amount of it. There are articles about him and his work ( both stage, screen and films ) as well as photos and audio / video clips. The person running this site has done a super job ... must be almost as obsessed by him as I am by the Maestro. So why am I interested ? ... well, I enjoy Doctor Who - I'm not an avid fan, but I like it .... I also remember watching David in two other series: the lead in the recent TV adaptation of Casanova, and in the musical drama Blackpool ... and the fact that, like with the Maestro, I don't find him exactly ugly !! Yep, he is extremely good looking ( see the photo for proof of that ... ), a VERY good actor ( worked with the Royal Shakespeare Company .. in fact, he is playing Hamlet from July ... ) with a healthy sense of humour and an ability to laugh at himself, comes across as a nice guy, and has a Scottish accent when he speaks with his own voice that is enough to make you melt ... oh, and he is my age too ... all the ingredients for a simmering new obsession , don't you think ?. I thought I had got over the age of acting like this ... but apparently I haven't ... never mind !!

So there we have it, as the title of this post said, something old, something new ..... something else to write ( and obsess ) about ...

A winter wonderland .... in April.

As mentioned in my last post, we had some snow in the last month here ( it was actually two weeks ago now ). By most peoples standards, it was nothing ... it was here one minute and gone the next ... ( quite literally - it had all melted away in 3 - 4 hours ) but it was unusual for where I live on the South Coast, and especially in April. This time last year , it was a mini heatwave .... this year, snow .... the weather is getting stranger and stranger ... Gaia is definitely becoming confused ....

Here are a few photos, just to prove that I wasn't imagining things .... these are views from the graveyard I visited ( go there every Sunday, with my Mum to place fresh flowers on my Grandmother's grave ... looked even more peaceful than ever that day ... )

Hello ( again ) ....

So much for my promise / statement that I would post here more often now I have my iBook ....

Anyway, the last month or so since the last post has been eventful in a strange kind of way ... be it due to it snowing ( an event because it almost NEVER snows here ), or me suffering a small bout of food poisoning ( thanks to dodgy instructions on a microwave ready meal ), or my visit to London to see the Maestro in concert ( a full description in another post - PROMISE ! ) ... outside work, my life has been quite eventful . Unfortunately, thanks to work, and things there, I have generally been too tired, stressed, just out of salts with everything to get my head together and write here ... had enough things to post about, but just no energy or inclination left to write them ... the dark clouds mentioned in the last post were slower to part and dissipate than I expected (or wanted ) ..... so there, that's my excuses out of the way ..... .

Back to my work situation .... I am just so fed up most of the time lately . My status in the store is practically nonexistent ... I am almost totally invisible again now. I get spoken to, but no-one really talks to me and I almost never get listened to ... I can quite easily go most of the day without speaking to anyone but myself. I am just not there as far as some are concerned ...and it is now getting me down more than ever. Almost as bad is the fact that when others do manage to speak to me, it is as if they were speaking to a five year old .... it seems to me they really think I am thick as two short planks ... just a little annoying !!. There is a bunch of others ( OK , two others - who shall remain nameless to protect the guilty ... ) who have been promoted to team leaders recently ... and they know EVERYTHING about everything now ... and don't we know it ! It seems everyone else is inefficient , slow, useless ... only they can do their respective jobs properly. My opinions ( when I get around to giving them, which is not that often ) are pretty much ignored and disregarded ... after all, how could I know anything about what they have to do - I'm just the baker . The fact that I have probably been there , seen that and got the t-shirt doesn't enter the equation ....

I know I'm sounding like the green-eyed monster has descended on me ... perhaps it is jealousy on my part ... but I hope not. That will get me nowhere. I just want to be acknowledged once in a while, not generally ignored .... to be thought of as having just a little knowledge ... after all, I must have picked up something after twenty years in retail. I can hope, can't I ?