Nelson's Column in Trafalgar Square
I know she lost her main support when Nan passed away, and I am there for her if she needs me .. but I do need time to myself too !!. I am my own person, not a clone of her ... I need some space of my own to do what I want to do, be it with or without her. We live in the same house, we go out together ... we can spend the majority of the day together. We can come home from a fun morning shopping ... everyone is happy. Then I say I'm going to my room to watch a DVD, or mess around on the computer for a while or whatever ... and it is as if she regresses to a spoilt child ... " that's OK .. you just leave me ALONE then ! " I get told in a huffy voice. I've just spent the whole morning with her, doing what she wants ... I'm going upstairs as to not bother her with something she isn't interested in ... I haven't left the house, just the room ... and that is the reaction I get ! . I know it is just a small thing but it really gets to me sometimes. That combined with bigbrother and his over-possessive nature ... and Mum's tendancy to expect everything ( and everyone - i.e: me ! ) to follow and obey some kind of internal timetable in HER head .... can make home feel like a prison at times ... my every move watched, feeling like I'm not being allowed to do anything without one of them in tow .... sometimes, it seems the only time I am without them is at work ...*FEEL LIKE SCREAMING*
It is as if she and I have taken over the relationship Nan and her once had .... she has turned into Nan, and me her. NOW I can understand why she was so frustrated with Nan sometimes during my childhood ... and why their arguments, when they did argue ( which wasn't often I admit ) were so explosive ... I'm beginning to feel the same.
Despite all that , I do love my Mum , and probably wouldn't change her if I could , no matter how frustrated she makes me ... she wouldn't be Mum if I did, now would she ....?
Like many stores both large and small , we sell Cigarettes and Alcohol in store. These are age restricted products - you have to be over a certain age to buy them ( the age is 18 for both) . Thanks to the "scourge" of binge drinking in teens ( that is how the media sees it ), the Police and Trading Standards perform test purchases to check we are not selling these products to underage people. This has been happening for a lot time .... but in the last few years it has been getting more frequent, and the consequences of failing such a test more and more severe. At the moment it is an £80 on the spot fine and a criminal record for the individual who served the person, the store management could get the sack, and the store could lose its licence to sell alcohol - and no licence means the store would close. To try and counter this, everyone is trained ( including me, and I haven't been near a till for almost five years ) to look at the person we are serving, and if there is any doubt to their age, to ask for ID/ proof of age before completing the transaction. It used to be if they looked under 18, then after a spate of local failures, if they appeared under 21 ... now it is if they look under 25 ( the legal age to buy is still 18 though) ... fair enough. So that is what the people on the tills try and do ... but stores are still failing test purchases. So Head Office , in fear of losing licences, have decreed that we ALL have to sign a document EVERY DAY before we start work to state we understand what the rules are, that we ALL verbally have to tell management EVERY DAY that we understand what the rules are and what we have to do .... basically moving all the responsibility onto the person serving . We have been told anyone who fails a test purchase is going to be disciplined, possibly suspended from work and probably dismissed as well as the actions the police might take. This, as you can expect, has scared the living daylights out of some .... and as for the rest .... they are getting fed up with what is almost becoming brainwashing on the subject. I think , by now , even the most brain-dead person would have got the message ... but no, it continues. THAT is the reason behind the bad atmosphere .... next move the Thought Police and Room 101 ....
The core of the problem comes down to this - what does an 18, 21, 25, ... even a 30 year old look like ? .... it all comes down to opinion and perception. What looks like a 25 year old to one person may not to another - that is the problem, and perhaps why failures happen. A possible solution is to ask EVERYONE buying these products for ID - but we cannot because we are not allowed to - it would infringe on their civil liberties, and the reactions from customers when we did try such a policy were negative to say the least .... there was physical violence towards some in store on more than one occasion ... so it goes on. At the end of the day we are only Human - yes, we understand ( we DO understand ! ) that we must "think 25" when selling these age restricted items, but mistakes will be made. Some underage teens will always try and buy these products ... perhaps trying to educate them not to smoke or drink in the first place might help a little, rather than persecuting everyone else in the chain, don't you think ?
