It is New Years Eve, and as you can tell, I am still in a reflective / thoughtful mood. I have been thinking about the past year.... not the best I've ever experienced. The year has come and gone in a bit of a blur... it feels like I have sleepwalked through most of it. The passing away of my Grandmother in February was a major reason for that - it had a huge effect ...and in all my family's life, not just my own. Everything changed for us ... all of a sudden Mum had lost her best friend and support system, bigbrother and I had lost the woman we saw as our second mother, who had helped bring us up. Roles changed... my "extended childhood" came to an end, and new responsibilities reared their head. I had to be there to look after Mum now ... to contribute to the up-keep of the house ... lots of other little things I had to think about, which would not have even entered my head a few weeks before. Our lives all changed in the closing of an eye ...... and changed forever. It brought home the fact of my own mortality .... that no-one lives forever.. that one day I will have to go through the same experience with my Mum.....
It has not all been sadness though .... it has brought us ( Mum, bigbrother and me ) even closer together. There were the trips to London ( and the London Eye ) and various other places during the summer months we took together... seeing the WOMAD music festival again .... making new friends on the Web ... there have been bursts of colour and sunlight in my life this year. But the overriding feeling is that I will be glad this year is over.
Here's hoping for a better 2007 ..... HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!
Sunday, 31 December 2006
Images of Life
Images of Life
Originally uploaded by littlesister.
Sometimes words are not enough, or just don't completely sum up what I am feeling/ thinking (...not often, but sometimes ..). These are doodles I created on my computer - the first some years ago, the other earlier this year ( using photoshop elements ).They are both about the same subject - about what Life is.
With the first image, I was feeling a little fed up, and was thinking at the time about what life in general meant to me. As you can see , I'm no artist... that is what I created.
The second image was inspired by some news about The Maestro, and the subject matter for his new album. Jean Michel said the music was to influenced by life...by it's ups and downs... and that he wanted the album to evolve, like a tree growing...... After some talking and discussion on Blah Blah Cafe ( a fan forum I sometimes contribute to ) about this, I created that image ( apologies to those who saw it there ) as a "possible" album cover image ( Not that I believed for a second it ever would be..... )
---------------------------------
First image - What it all means ( to me anyway. )
Colours - showing my belief that nothing in life is just black or white.... there are shades of grey in between. Also, if you look closely, no matter how grey and mundane you think life is, you can find an explosion of colour at it's centre... the colours of love, of enjoyment, of hope, of happiness...
The spirals.... the sense of life around you spinning out of your control at times.... but even in the darkest moments, when all is spiralling down into darkness, you CAN find/see light/colour at the end.....
Second Image - Some kind of explanation for this image....( well my interpretation anyway )...
Life is not just black or white..... right and wrong...good and bad. It is more than just that...it is a whole spectrum of colours, ever changing as we and our situations change...our experiences, our moods..... as we grow and evolve ( like a tree !) . Yes, black and white are there .... but so is so much more....the more we experience, the more we reach out and learn from others around us...to learn from our experiences that could be good or bad....the more colourful our lives become...and the more we grow and develop as Humans.....
In the end, it is all subjective .... in the end, the doodles mean ( if they have a meaning ) what you want it to mean..... this is just what they mean to me ....
Saturday, 30 December 2006
Queen of Darkness
This time of year is really quite strange. Christmas and it's celebrations is over.... but it is not quite time to party in the New Year (yet). These few days in between are almost non days.... a "twilight zone" of time... things are back to normal, but not quite. Ok, for some people, the party started Christmas Eve and will not end until January 2nd, but I returned to work Wednesday.... my festive season stopped then, with a small reprise tomorrow and Monday, before reality and normality sets in for good. All that preparation - the food shopping, the card writing, the present buying, the decorating of home and tree ... all that expectation and anticipation, and then it is all over in a flash...
Apologies if that sounds a bit depressing ... I suppose you could say I'm going through a "grey" period. I'm not depressed, just a little down at the moment... in a reflective mode. The weather isn't helping - it has turned damp, cloudy , windy and generally grey. That, and I never seem to see daylight ( what there is of it ). I get up in the morning - it is dark..... I go to work - it is still dark ... I leave work and go home - IT IS DARK!!. It is as if I turn into a vampire during the winter months.... only living under cover of darkness ... LOL!.
I long for the arrival of Spring ... of multi-coloured sunrises and sunsets, the re-awaking of Mother Nature after her months of sleep, of blossom on the trees, birds singing.... of seeing daylight!! Don't get me wrong - I don't dislike Winter. There is something quite enjoyable about walking along the sea shore on a cool, dry, clear, sunny winters morning, wrapped up in a warm coat, listening to music from your walkman/mp3 player ... a peacefulness and tranqulity. Normally there isn't that many people around, in complete contrast to Summer. You can just walk, or sit there if you want to, and watch the waves breaking on the shore.... bliss. That I enjoy....but unfortunately, those kind of days are few and far between. Normally it is just cold, damp and grey, and for me, I'm normally @ work during the times of daylight ... such is life.
Apologies if that sounds a bit depressing ... I suppose you could say I'm going through a "grey" period. I'm not depressed, just a little down at the moment... in a reflective mode. The weather isn't helping - it has turned damp, cloudy , windy and generally grey. That, and I never seem to see daylight ( what there is of it ). I get up in the morning - it is dark..... I go to work - it is still dark ... I leave work and go home - IT IS DARK!!. It is as if I turn into a vampire during the winter months.... only living under cover of darkness ... LOL!.
I long for the arrival of Spring ... of multi-coloured sunrises and sunsets, the re-awaking of Mother Nature after her months of sleep, of blossom on the trees, birds singing.... of seeing daylight!! Don't get me wrong - I don't dislike Winter. There is something quite enjoyable about walking along the sea shore on a cool, dry, clear, sunny winters morning, wrapped up in a warm coat, listening to music from your walkman/mp3 player ... a peacefulness and tranqulity. Normally there isn't that many people around, in complete contrast to Summer. You can just walk, or sit there if you want to, and watch the waves breaking on the shore.... bliss. That I enjoy....but unfortunately, those kind of days are few and far between. Normally it is just cold, damp and grey, and for me, I'm normally @ work during the times of daylight ... such is life.
Wednesday, 27 December 2006
Chasing my tail.....
Back to work today after the Christmas break ( 3 whole days...Whoo! ). It was a bit of an effort to get up @ 4am....( I have not been rising before 8am the last few days, so a bit of a difference ! ) but I got out of bed eventually... Once in work, it felt like I had been away for 3 weeks, not 3 days...there was nothing left on my shelves, so it was "start from scratch" time. I just couldn't get started, couldn't get into a groove. I was baking almost all day, and the shelves just didn't seem to look remotely full for more than a few seconds - it was very frustrating ( hence the title of this post...). Hopefully tomorrow will be better.... I might just have my working head on by then.....
It is amusing - despite the fact that most people bought enough food in the last few weeks to probably last them to June, they were buying even more today... particularly my bread, aswell as milk and other basics - but that is more down to freshness/dates on products than anything else. Some of the customers were not happy to find that we didn't have everything they wanted.... don't they realise that we ALSO have Christmas? We were shut for 2 days, so hadn't had any deliveries of most "fresh" food lines since Saturday ( and Friday for others)... so were our suppliers... so from where were we suppose to magic up stock for them to buy ....? Any stock from before Christmas would be out of date by today anyway...
Christmas seems to affects different people in different ways ....... there were a few people who were just a little bit fragile @ work today after over-indulging on the fruits of the vine yesterday...and probably the day before that too! Headaches and upset stomachs were the norm it appeared. Some didn't even manage to get into work at all ;-) ....Michelle's little helper aka John didn't have a headache or feel sick, but that was because he probably wasn't completely sober when he came in....it seems he had a very Merry Christmas , so much so, he was still a little merry ! When I arrived, he had a huge grin on his face and kept on dissolving into fits of giggles for no real reason.... this was at 6am in the morning! It was funny to watch - he knew what kind of a state he was in, but was too "happy" to care.... but that didn't last long.... a few strong coffees before He-Who-must-be-obeyed arrived @ 8am soon sorted that out. Saying that, I'm not that sure about him either... Mark was drinking Red Bull as if it was going out of fashion most of the day too...
Oh, the joys of Drinking...makes me glad to be tee-total really !
It is amusing - despite the fact that most people bought enough food in the last few weeks to probably last them to June, they were buying even more today... particularly my bread, aswell as milk and other basics - but that is more down to freshness/dates on products than anything else. Some of the customers were not happy to find that we didn't have everything they wanted.... don't they realise that we ALSO have Christmas? We were shut for 2 days, so hadn't had any deliveries of most "fresh" food lines since Saturday ( and Friday for others)... so were our suppliers... so from where were we suppose to magic up stock for them to buy ....? Any stock from before Christmas would be out of date by today anyway...
Christmas seems to affects different people in different ways ....... there were a few people who were just a little bit fragile @ work today after over-indulging on the fruits of the vine yesterday...and probably the day before that too! Headaches and upset stomachs were the norm it appeared. Some didn't even manage to get into work at all ;-) ....Michelle's little helper aka John didn't have a headache or feel sick, but that was because he probably wasn't completely sober when he came in....it seems he had a very Merry Christmas , so much so, he was still a little merry ! When I arrived, he had a huge grin on his face and kept on dissolving into fits of giggles for no real reason.... this was at 6am in the morning! It was funny to watch - he knew what kind of a state he was in, but was too "happy" to care.... but that didn't last long.... a few strong coffees before He-Who-must-be-obeyed arrived @ 8am soon sorted that out. Saying that, I'm not that sure about him either... Mark was drinking Red Bull as if it was going out of fashion most of the day too...
Oh, the joys of Drinking...makes me glad to be tee-total really !
Tuesday, 26 December 2006
Introducing the cast...
Although this blog is just somewhere for me to put down my scatter-brained thoughts in some kind of physical form ( so doesn't really have much relevance to anyone else ), I thought it is only fair that I try and make it a little easier for others to understand if they come across it.
So, as a guide, let me introduce you to some of the people who are likely to feature in my postings here - from my family, from work, and from my life in general.....
Firstly, there is me - littlesister . I'm a 30-something female , living in a world of my own ...LOL!( actually, I'm from the UK ), still at home with Mum and my brother ( otherwise known as "bigbrother" ). Why 'bigbrother' ?... it's a pet name I have for him - as I am 'littlesister', it just made sense for him to be the opposite. This despite the fact that I am older than him ( but only by 14 months )... he is 'bigbrother' more in the sense of George Orwell and 1984 than anything else - you know 'bigbrother is watching you.'. There is no-one else "important" in my life ( if you understand what I mean ;-) ) at the moment, but who knows, that might change..... to be honest, I'm not that bothered - I am happy as I am...
Then there is work... I work full time for a local food retailer, in the in-store bakery. It's not the most demanding job mentally ( after all, it's not rocket science putting ready-made loaves in an oven ..), but it pays the bills. I am a bit of a one-person department at the moment, a supervisor who only has herself to supervise, but that will not last forever. The bakery is a bit cut off from the rest of the store, but I do have some contact with the others...... They include Kath, Mandy, Lesley , Sarah, Maria, Lee and Froudy amongst others. As well as all that lot, there is the management/team leaders - Mark, the acting manager ( aka He-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed ), Michelle ( deputy ), and John ( or Michelle's little helper as he is otherwise known :-) )...... a bit bitchy of me I know, but sometimes, just sometimes, they can be quite patronising towards me... after all, I am a team leader/supervisor too ( officially anyway )....
Finally, another person who might just crop up from time to time ( ok, most of the time !! )..... the certain French musician I mentioned in the previous post... Jean Michel Jarre (aka the Maestro or the Conductor of the Masses ). To say I am a bit of a fan of his music ( and Ok, I admit it, he isn't exactly ugly either ! ) is like saying the Pope is a little bit Catholic ..... ;-) - but in my defense, there are people around ( mainly on the Fan website ) who are a whole lot more obsessed than me....(such as some willing to travel to China or the Sahara desert to see him in concert ! )
Anyway, as I state on the signature for my postings on the forums I sometimes write to - 'I'm not obsessed.... just overly interested..' ( For those who might be interested in who I am talking about, there are links to some web-sites about Jean Michel in the Links section of this Blog ).
And that is about it..... all the main players in the show which is my little, uninteresting life. A new act in the never-ending performance commences shortly.....
So, as a guide, let me introduce you to some of the people who are likely to feature in my postings here - from my family, from work, and from my life in general.....
Firstly, there is me - littlesister . I'm a 30-something female , living in a world of my own ...LOL!( actually, I'm from the UK ), still at home with Mum and my brother ( otherwise known as "bigbrother" ). Why 'bigbrother' ?... it's a pet name I have for him - as I am 'littlesister', it just made sense for him to be the opposite. This despite the fact that I am older than him ( but only by 14 months )... he is 'bigbrother' more in the sense of George Orwell and 1984 than anything else - you know 'bigbrother is watching you.'. There is no-one else "important" in my life ( if you understand what I mean ;-) ) at the moment, but who knows, that might change..... to be honest, I'm not that bothered - I am happy as I am...
Then there is work... I work full time for a local food retailer, in the in-store bakery. It's not the most demanding job mentally ( after all, it's not rocket science putting ready-made loaves in an oven ..), but it pays the bills. I am a bit of a one-person department at the moment, a supervisor who only has herself to supervise, but that will not last forever. The bakery is a bit cut off from the rest of the store, but I do have some contact with the others...... They include Kath, Mandy, Lesley , Sarah, Maria, Lee and Froudy amongst others. As well as all that lot, there is the management/team leaders - Mark, the acting manager ( aka He-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed ), Michelle ( deputy ), and John ( or Michelle's little helper as he is otherwise known :-) )...... a bit bitchy of me I know, but sometimes, just sometimes, they can be quite patronising towards me... after all, I am a team leader/supervisor too ( officially anyway )....
Finally, another person who might just crop up from time to time ( ok, most of the time !! )..... the certain French musician I mentioned in the previous post... Jean Michel Jarre (aka the Maestro or the Conductor of the Masses ). To say I am a bit of a fan of his music ( and Ok, I admit it, he isn't exactly ugly either ! ) is like saying the Pope is a little bit Catholic ..... ;-) - but in my defense, there are people around ( mainly on the Fan website ) who are a whole lot more obsessed than me....(such as some willing to travel to China or the Sahara desert to see him in concert ! )
Anyway, as I state on the signature for my postings on the forums I sometimes write to - 'I'm not obsessed.... just overly interested..' ( For those who might be interested in who I am talking about, there are links to some web-sites about Jean Michel in the Links section of this Blog ).
And that is about it..... all the main players in the show which is my little, uninteresting life. A new act in the never-ending performance commences shortly.....
Hello world...!!!
Well, I thought it was about time I started writing again. I try this (at least once) most years, but normally only last a few weeks before coming to a grinding halt. Inspired by a web friend's efforts ( yes, you Geejee!) I am determined to do better this time !! About time to try a new format I think...........
So , this blog has been created as a general outlet for my thoughts, rants, experiences ......... about my life, work and interests. I expect my little obsession with a certain French musician will crop up from time to time.... lol ! :-) ( more on that later ! ), as will work and certain people there... . I am not saying this will be very interesting to anyone else.... (then again my life is not that interesting to me sometimes ) but this is not really for anyone else..... it's something for me..... a place to let off steam.
Welcome to my world....
littlesister
So , this blog has been created as a general outlet for my thoughts, rants, experiences ......... about my life, work and interests. I expect my little obsession with a certain French musician will crop up from time to time.... lol ! :-) ( more on that later ! ), as will work and certain people there... . I am not saying this will be very interesting to anyone else.... (then again my life is not that interesting to me sometimes ) but this is not really for anyone else..... it's something for me..... a place to let off steam.
Welcome to my world....
littlesister
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