I know she lost her main support when Nan passed away, and I am there for her if she needs me .. but I do need time to myself too !!. I am my own person, not a clone of her ... I need some space of my own to do what I want to do, be it with or without her. We live in the same house, we go out together ... we can spend the majority of the day together. We can come home from a fun morning shopping ... everyone is happy. Then I say I'm going to my room to watch a DVD, or mess around on the computer for a while or whatever ... and it is as if she regresses to a spoilt child ... " that's OK .. you just leave me ALONE then ! " I get told in a huffy voice. I've just spent the whole morning with her, doing what she wants ... I'm going upstairs as to not bother her with something she isn't interested in ... I haven't left the house, just the room ... and that is the reaction I get ! . I know it is just a small thing but it really gets to me sometimes. That combined with bigbrother and his over-possessive nature ... and Mum's tendancy to expect everything ( and everyone - i.e: me ! ) to follow and obey some kind of internal timetable in HER head .... can make home feel like a prison at times ... my every move watched, feeling like I'm not being allowed to do anything without one of them in tow .... sometimes, it seems the only time I am without them is at work ...*FEEL LIKE SCREAMING*
It is as if she and I have taken over the relationship Nan and her once had .... she has turned into Nan, and me her. NOW I can understand why she was so frustrated with Nan sometimes during my childhood ... and why their arguments, when they did argue ( which wasn't often I admit ) were so explosive ... I'm beginning to feel the same.
Despite all that , I do love my Mum , and probably wouldn't change her if I could , no matter how frustrated she makes me ... she wouldn't be Mum if I did, now would she ....?
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